Teddy Lupin was pretending to write his herbology essay, but he was really staring across the common room at HER. As always, she was surrounded by a flock of people, who couldn’t resist her charm, her wonderful sense of humor, her incredible beauty . . .
“Merlin’s armpit, Teddy! Quit staring at her! Someone will see you,” Brad whispered fiercely, punching Teddy in the shoulder to get his attention.
Since Brad was Teddy’s best mate, he punched him back. Then he sighed, “But she’s so . . .”
“SHE IS YOUR COUSIN. Mate. You can’t go out with your cousin.”
“But biologically she isn’t my cousin. Aunt Hermione said, . . .”
“It doesn’t matter buy-o-whatever what she is. You’ve grown up as cousins and you CANNOT go out with your COUSIN. And besides, even if she weren’t your cousin, she’s the most popular girl at Hogwarts.
“I know, I know.” Teddy sighed again.
“What you need, mate, is some professional help. Look at this.” Brad handed the Daily Prophet to Teddy with the page folded over to a large advertisement.
Are you feeling alone? Sick of being single? Tired of taking your cousin to parties?
Teddy glanced up at Brad. “I would love to take my cousin to a party.”
“You prat! For the last time . . .
“I know. I can’t go out with my cousin.” He continued reading the advertisement.
Then what you need is an O.W.L. O.W.L. Finder, Inc. will find your O.W.L. (Outrageously Wonderful Love). Just complete the attached questionnaire, owl it to our office, and just wait! Your O.W.L. will meet you at the time and place you specify.
(There is a three galleon fee which must be included with the completed questionnaire. Wizards and witches must be of age to participate.)
Brad pushed three galleons into Teddy’s hand. “Here you go Teddy. It will be your early birthday present. Now fill out the questionnaire. And don’t argue. I know you aren’t 17, but you will be soon enough.”
Teddy gaped at him, but kept quiet. Brad put a quill in his galleon-free hand, and Teddy began to fill out the questionnaire, with Brad reading over his shoulder, making occasional comments.
“Check the yes box for “dating outside your Hogwarts’ house”. You don’t want to limit your options.” Teddy rolled his eyes.
“Blimey! You have a veela hair for your wand core? That’s really rare!”
“And being a metamorphmagus who’s the son of a metamorphmagus and a werewolf is an everyday occurrence, yeah?” They both laughed.
“Put down the date of the next Hogsmeade weekend for when you want to be set up. Oh! And say you want to meet her at the benches by the war memorial. Then you won’t be stuck eating or anything if you don’t like her. You can talk for a bit and decide whether or not to continue.”
“That’s a good idea,” Teddy admitted. He was gradually warming up to this idea.
Two Weeks Later . . .
Teddy was sitting on the benches by the war memorial in Hogsmeade. Now that he was actually waiting for some unknown girl to show up, he was having second thoughts about this plan. Having a large, red heart with a picture of an owl in it attached to his cloak did not help matters. Couldn’t O.W.L. Finder, Inc. just use nametags, instead of the bloody pins? At least there weren’t too many people around.
Then Teddy saw someone coming. Well, he saw the pin. Those things stood out from a distance, that was a cert. And as she got closer, his jaw dropped. He stood up shakily and blurted out, “You’re not 17.”
The girl blushed prettily, “I know. I lied.”
“That’s ok. I did, too."
Well, funnily enough O.W.L. Finders, Inc. with a little help from Brad, had found him his O.W.L.
Nineteen Years Later . . .
Teddy and Victoire were helping their eleven-year-old daughter Apolline get her trunk on board the Hogwarts’ Express when they heard a laughing voice behind them.
“Well, look who’s here, the kissing cousins!”
“Are you ever going to drop that ‘kissing cousins’ bit? That joke was old when Al was eleven.” Teddy shook James’ hand, rolling his eyes.
“You two will always be the “kissing cousins”, forever and ever and ever.”
“Well, that’s just fine with me”, laughed Teddy as he kissed Victoire.